Bored Of Big Sam? It's Your Right... West Ham fans will hear 'be careful what you wish for' every day for the next few weeks. Sod the pundits, it's okay to get sick of the middle of the road...

It was inevitable this weekend that, as news of Sam Allardyce's defenestration at West Ham broke, one proper football man after another put his head in front of a TV camera and said "be careful what you wish for, West Ham fans". You were 'guaranteed' to stay up next season under Sam, and now you're not, apparently. Oh. The words 'Newcastle' and 'Pardew' were invoked to prove the veracity of their defence of English managers targeted by fans, seemingly forgetting some of the tremendous wallopings Newcastle suffered during his tenure. Football isn't all about mere survival though, is it? Surely all that West Ham fans wished for is the removal of Allardyce; after that, who cares? It is perfectly justifiable to be sick of your manager and anyone who says otherwise by pointing to the league table and wagging their finger is out of touch with the day-to-day realities of supporting a football club. The defence of British mediocrity amongst British pundits - all of whom almost certainly know or would have to encounter the manager in their working or social life - is transparently born out of a mixture of self-interest and what also seems like instinctive, cultural xenophobia. As though he is being punished for not being foreign. It's all pure delusion. Is the point of a club playing football in the Premier League merely to 'survive'? Is being in the top flight in order to earn more money, in order to keep being in the top flight in order to earn more money, in order to stay in the top flight, really everything? If so, then it is pretty poor fare as a competition. At some point, you need some fun and part of the fun is having a manager you enjoy seeing on the local news two or three times a week. When they're a bit of a ****, it just annoys the hell out of you. This is much under-rated in football's self-analysis. Fans quickly tire of a man who is hard to like, even if he is a decent manager. Most clubs are never going to win anything, so all they've got is the weekly soap opera and part of that soap opera is a manager who doesn't make you shout at the TV too much or who at least entertains by abusing local journalists or by turning up for a presser clearly drunk. The manager is part of the entertainment package. A record of season after season of finishes in the bottom ten but never the bottom three is often presented as though it is brilliant, especially if it is the achievement of a British manager. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't, but eventually it does kill the fun. Trying to sell Allardyce as a man who can keep the club in the league just isn't enough. It should never be enough. Burnley fans are happy to keep Sean Dyche as manager, despite getting relegated, because of what he offers. Results are not everything, even if pundits can't seem to see beyond them when it's a mate of theirs. It also fails to appreciate that failure can be kind of exciting. I would wager Newcastle fans felt more joy from a final-day win than they would have done from the low monotonous hum of a predictable, steady mid-table finish. The glory or heartache games are the ones that we live for. Steady, safe and secure is boring. Nothing good ever happens in the middle of the road, all the fun is in the gutter. The threat of a new season being worse under a new manager is no threat at all, firstly because you might not be, but secondly because modern football is a 24/7 thing and you constantly need new characters to perform and entertain. Having the same sagging jowls in charge, season after season, is poor value entertainment. New is more exciting. A new manager will sell more season tickets. We all need constant reinvention and stimulation and the irony of it is that the manager who has just been sacked can also benefit from this when he replaces some tired old sap at another club. Allardyce will pop up somewhere else soon enough and he will do what he does all over again and then that club will tire of it too. He knows it, we all know it and we shouldn't be bothered about that in the slightest.
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